ABD chapter 14 note

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https://sites.google.com/site/dariachenowith/abd/chapter-14
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http://www.twcslibrary.com/viewstory.php?sid=1383&chapter=14

Welcome to the chapter 14 note! Below a few words about the chapter, and our weekly question! Also including some episodes from my personal life. And two more yummy pictures because I just couldn't decide on only one!

I'd like to say a few words about two things, mainly - spanking and punishment, and how you start a scene that isn't a scene.

You all know that I do this on a regular basis myself. And if you haven't, now you do.I'm a sucker for anything that hurts and isn't pointy, and getting my ass spanked with the flat hand is about as yummy as foreplay gets for me.

Because that's what it is - you can only do so much damage with just your hand. I hate to see so many fics demonize spanking in a backstabbing way. Five slaps with the hand, however out of the blue they might come, don't really hurt all that much. Our tush is a pretty well padded part of the body, also in skinny, tiny girls, and it takes a lot to inflict real pain there without the help of any proper toys. Not that spanking can't hurt, but, well, let's face it, even thirty slaps will not really hurt. The constant impact will in fact cause more lust than pain in most people, and it's something you can do everywhere, all the time, without any toys, and as it doesn't leave that many marks unless you bruise really easily it's simply perfect!

If interspersed with some kneading and gentle stroking, I'd even say it's one of the most pleasant things with a light sting you can get yourself into.

Now Bella had to deal with 'real' punishment before - although this time it came down on the lighter side. You probably already realized that not the spanking but the lack of satisfaction was the punishment here. As she realized her own fault and confessed, even asked for punishment, Edward felt he could go lightly on her. What did she get punished for? Falling back into her previous insecure ways of doubting herself, and trying to manipulate him.

I don't know if I've explained before what topping from the bottom means - if I haven't, now is the time for that.
I guess you're all more or less familiar with the terms topping and bottoming? You are a Dominant's submissive if you play in your respective role, usually more often than just once, with all the mind games etc involved; but you're a Top's bottom when s/he dominates you for this one instance, this single scene. I know, semantics, but some people take this very seriously. I don't, but if I, as a mostly submissive woman, were to dominate a man once, I would say I top him, for instance, to state that it's less something I usually do and identify with, but just a fact for how this single scene will work.

Now topping from the bottom is - as you might have guessed - when it's the submissive partner who is setting the pace and giving commands. Although by most (insecure) Doms used in a derogative fashion, the term doesn't really mean anything bad. If you have a very experienced sub who is playing with a Dom in training, it might be a good idea to let her lead him along until he has learned to do it himself. Or if it's simply the way you like to play. Some do. Some don't. But usually it describes a sub who is breaking role and trying to assume control by manipulating her Dom into doing her bidding - actively, while it has previously been established that for the duration of the scene the sub should be acting submissively and according to the Dom's orders.

Why did I say insecure Doms (I should have said insecure 'Doms')? Let me explain via an example from my own colorful history. When I was pretty new in the lifestyle I once hooked up with an equally new Dom. He was all about protocol but pretended to be nice and forgiving. One night we had a slight misunderstanding, and my punishment for mouthing off was not to wear panties the following day. Now it so happened that I forgot I had a very busy schedule, including 8 hrs of lab practice, a seminar talk I was leading, and an interview with the professor I hoped to convince to become my thesis advisor. In short a hell of a long day where I had to stay sharp and focused. I remembered about three minutes after getting told not to wear any panties, which particularly for the talking parts would have upset me. I explained to my Dom and offered to go commando for the rest of the week (even starting directly after that interview), and any other punishment he deemed appropriate gladly. Play should never intrude into your business or family life - and if you've been playing with someone for a long time they will never inconvenience you in a way that could jeopardize your career or expose you to your in-laws.
Now what did he do? He got mad at me, terribly so, to the point where I wanted to back away slowly. He accused me of trying to manipulate him, of - you guessed right - topping from the bottom. As he put it, it wasn't my liberty to decide when the time was convenient for me to obey and when not. I guess he had a point in some way, but what I really did was a) simply tell him facts I had previously forgotten and he hadn't known about, and b) protect myself. Suffice it to say, we ended things that very evening, and I didn't take his offer when he told me two weeks later that he would take me back if I just groveled enough.
At first I was rather upset - no sub likes being accused of being a manipulative bitch when all she did was explain and plead for a re-direction of her punishment because of an already upsetting enough cause ahead. But then I realized that I hadn't really messed up - I just bruised his ego as he, in his insecurity, couldn't take me saying no in any way. He felt like I didn't take him seriously, and underlined all that in his reaction. A more secure and experienced Dom would have suspended my sentence until anything that could upset me had passed, and maybe added some to the original punishment after that, kind of like letting me 'thank' him for being so understanding.
Now, if I had protested just because I didn't feel like wearing underwear for no particular reason that day, it would indeed have been an attempt to top from the bottom.

End of lecture #1 ;)

Now the second part - a much quicker note because I got this question a lot of HBR - how does a sub realize she should slip into sub mode when a Dom starts a scene that isn't a real scene, like Edward did in this chapter?

Well, let me answer that with a question in turn - how many grunted words does it take for you to realize that your partner is in a foul mood when they get home from work?

Exactly, it's not that hard to grasp.

Of course it's harder to 'get' when you're reading this as you might have to track back a sentence or two, but I don't think it's really difficult to see when teasing, loving boyfriend turns to stern, demanding Dom. Just watch for the moment your panties get wet ;)

And now for the weekly question - this one from my good friend A, and thanks L for translating -

Before the party in chapter 1 of HBR, why didn't Bella realize that she was into kink... Most people would like some kind of kinky sex, but she's really into it (even if she's still trying to grasp the idea and pushing -or not- her limits)?

The answer isn't as easy as it sounds, but I guess the main reason is a) denial and b) inexperience. Bella grew up as the only child of a police officer, I can't picture Charlie being great in having any kind of sex talk or open communication there; Renee might have said a few things but Bella always tried to be different than her free spirited mother, so any kind of "not normal" fantasies she might have had she probably buried very deep.
And while she certainly heard some of Jasper's "war tales" she didn't really sleep round much before she hooked up with Mike - which, if you look back was really an attempt to stabilize what she figured was "normal". Or at least that is my own explanation for her behavior.
But then even Mike found B too boring, and when it was Edward of all people asking her to take a tiny step away from "normal" he invited her to open the door to the desires she had always denied herself, and how that went we all know.


That part about Bella is pretty much the only thing she has from me in her - only I had that phase when I was 14, and about a year later I figured I'd rather be a raving mad pervert than continue to be so unsatisfied, and the rest is history.


That's it for this week - I hope I didn't TMI you all there! I obviously like to ramble on about my own life so if you have questions about that - or want to keep indulging my idea of answering a question about me or the story or the BDSM lifestyle in general each week here, please ask!


If you don't want to do this in public (answer included) you can reach me via PM, email, or on facebook!
For story specific questions I made a new formspring.me profile - http://www.formspring.me/hbrabd - as their slogan goes, ask me anything!

I hope I didn't miss too many review replies and emails - I know I still owe a few. If you don't get a reply by tomorrow please slap me so I get to it!



Chapter 15 will be (the first part of) the play party at Beth's - see you next Fri/Sat for the teaser, and Sunday for the chapter itself! If you want me to send the teaser in your review reply - please let me know!