ABD Chapter 21 Notes

posted at
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5846625/21
https://sites.google.com/site/dariachenowith/abd/chapter-21
http://dariaabd.livejournal.com/
http://www.twcslibrary.com/viewstory.php?sid=1383&chapter=21

A very brief note again - not much background to talk about in this chapter, so mostly a few comments from me and the usual Q and A!



I hope that everyone got the significance of what happened in chapter 20 - yes, it’s the whole trust issue again. I really feel the need to stress just how important Bella’s progress is. I know a few of you commented on that, and I was very happy about you noticing, but the huge wall of indifference that seems to greet me for chapter 20 compared to the two chapters before is a little daunting. I also feel like I’ve written too many personal things into the story of late, I won’t do that again. Thankfully the plot has now reached a turning point where that’s not necessary anymore anyway. But feel free to ask questions, even personal ones, I just don’t want to feel like I’m oversharing.

I’ve also finished outlining the whole story, thanks to some very intense plotting sessions with two of my best friends in the world of fic, who also happen to be my most prolific pre-readers. Sorry I always forget to thank you in my notes! And A, too! Anyway, the story is ‘finished’ inside my head so technically I could answer any questions you have about the progress, but as I’m adamant not to spoil anything for anyone you will understand that I won’t just gush about it. Suffice it to say, there might come a few points in the story where I will feel like reassuring my audience, but you’ll see what I mean when we get there. Still, before you stop reading because you assume I’m dragging the story into a direction you won’t read, feel free to ask. After all I pride myself with writing the unexpected.

And yes, I like being such an evil tease!

As for the kinky side of chapter 21 - here’s a picture of how B’s new butt plug looks (just imagine it in red - again from my favorite toy and supplies site, J.T’s Stockroom)

I think I don’t need to post any pictures of lube or towels, right? thought so ;)

Now to the questions - thanks so much again that I get some every week! I wouldn’t mind answering more if someone else has some, too.

1. Is there any chance we'll be able to see Bella and Edward's checklists? Or do you plan on keeping us in the dark to draw out the suspense and make us salivate over each new chapter?
I don’t have them in written form so I would have to make them up anew, and I don’t really want to. They are quite fluid throughout the story so I feel like new readers might get confused, so I’ll probably stick with keeping you all in the dark!

2. I know you've had issues with certain other BDSM themed stories in the fandom, what is it that bothers you about these stories? You don't have to be specific to each story, because i don't want to start any word-wars here, but in general, what is it that you dislike about them?
First off, I don’t suffer fools gladly. And if someone doesn’t do research and then writes shit about my life (and lifestyle) I’m offended. I’m not talking about the “soft porn” equivalent of BDSM-esque fics around - please, everyone keep reading and liking them, just know that they are not the ‘real deal’. What makes me mad is that so many people get off on deliberately painting BDSM in the wrong colors. Showing it as abuse, or caused by trauma, or as a disease that needs to be cured. Just switch BDSM for homosexuality and you might get why I’m not happy with these stories. It’s not a phase, it’s not something caused by a traumatic event. Sure, all our actions are shaped by our lives, but I only know people who in the turn of dealing with trauma realized that there was another part of themselves they’d been in denial of until then, not that the abuse or rape caused their need for control and inflict pain on others (or the vice versa with masochistic submissives). This is simply wrong and deliberately hurtful to anyone in the BDSM lifestyle. I also feel betrayed when I see some of my readers fawn over these stories, and when I ask them why they tell me they know these elements are bullshit but they don’t care. But that’s my problem, not yours.

The other thing I’ve come to loathe is that some people cannot take what I write because they assume that the ‘lighter’ stories are the reality, and in turn accuse my Edward of being an abusive asshole. There have been times, particularly at the beginning of HBR, when I felt like screaming at my screen when I got another one of these reviews or PMs, and they never went away completely. I know that what I write is too harsh for some people, I also won’t force anyone to read it. But I wish everyone would accept that I know what I’m writing about - I really do this shit, and I know I’m so not alone with it! - and be a little more openminded. I’m more than happy to sit down with each confused reader and help them explain that no, it’s not abuse, it’s what all involved parties want, that part of it is just a game that works because of the layer of trust and respect, that the sub is the one with the ultimate power to stop things - but for that I need the aforementioned openmindedness. Part of the reason why I’m still writing ABD even though it’s quite painful for me sometimes is because I want to give an example of how BDSM works in romantic relationships, or can work. So everyone can catch a glimpse of it without softening everything to the point of pure fiction.

I don’t envy any story or writer their success or review numbers, mind you. I’m happy with the level of feedback I get at the moment (although when it drops again for whatever reason just at the chapter I feel most edgy about myself is of course a punch in the gut), and I’d rather have ten dedicated readers who love the story and feel with the characters than a hundred just blindly fawning over it because I write exactly what they want to read. Just thought I’d make that clear. When I bitch over a story it’s content related, nothing else. And I try to do that in private for the most part as not to hurt anyone. But some stories and their rabid fans just bring out the worst in me ;)

3. Will we get to go deeper into the story of Edward and Tanya, or this piece of Edward's past buried (at least somewhat)?
As I said a few notes back, I intend to write Edward’s story of how he got into BDSM, which starts with meeting Tanya, and ends somewhere in his time with Beth, if I’m really prolific after he’s finished his training as Dom with her and Peter. But I cannot say when I will write that. Quite the busybody at the moment when it comes to fanfic. And life.